Last night was a big day for me - I received my blue belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at Tony Passos BJJ! It has been almost a year and a half of training, with a two month break back in February and March. I honestly did not expect I would get my blue belt so soon, but nonetheless I was so happy I teared up a bit :) I think each person is their own worst critic though, and it is no different here. I don't see myself as being that good. The few times that I rolled with girls from other schools, I did not do so well. Their experience level was around the same as mine, or maybe a little more. Still, I remind myself though that everyone is different. I think each of those girls have competed. I think those that like to compete are also the same ones that go around visiting other gyms to roll with new people. I can think of million other excuses for myself on why I don't roll well other girls (they're bigger, I'm older, wasn't feeling so well, etc. etc.) but you know what... fuck that. I don't suck. I trained my ass off since day one. My techniques are about as solid as they should be for where I am in my training. Also, there will always be people who will be faster, stronger, and better than me. I can't compare myself to others. I am doing my best, and that is all that matters. My coach said, there will be a day when a white belt will beat me. That's just how it is. He knows, and he would not have promoted me if I did not deserve this.
One thing that has really helped though is having new girls at the school. They really could not have shown up at a more opportune time for me. I was at a point where I was debating whether to continue with my training. Rolling with guys, big ones at that, all the time was exhausting and felt a little limiting. Plus, I really could not tell how well I'd do against people my size. Rolling with the new girls though made me realize, hey, I do know things. I did learn a lot in the past year. They might beat me in an all out brawl (I hope not, but you never know), but in class, using Jiu Jitsu, I clearly have the advantage. Best part of it all is that they are really great bunch of gals. They are nice and fun to be around. I really needed more female friends in the area so I am ecstatic. We have all been talking a lot outside of class. Last Sunday we all went to see Cirque Italia together. We may do a paddle boarding outing in couple weeks. I am just really glad they are training with me at the school now and hope that our friendship will continue to grow.
